How to Have Honest Conversations with Your Team (Without the Awkwardness)

DEEP DIVE

How to Have Honest Conversations with Your Team (Without the Awkwardness)

One of the most common challenges leaders face is having honest and open conversations with their team.

Yet most leaders step into their role without any real training in handling these conversations.

Suddenly, you’re expected to give tough feedback and address performance issues—without making things awkward or damaging relationships.

Avoiding these conversations helps no one. Your team can’t improve if they don’t know what needs to change.

Effective leadership isn’t about keeping the peace—it’s about helping people grow.

The key is to approach these discussions with clarity, empathy and confidence.

Here’s how.

1. Reframe the Conversation: It's About Growth, Not Criticism

Shift your mindset: feedback isn’t about calling people out—it’s about helping them improve.

Done right, it builds trust, strengthens relationships and helps your team reach their full potential.

Honest conversations don’t have to be awkward or confrontational. Think of it as coaching, not criticism.

2. Be Proactive, Not Reactive

Don’t wait until problems escalate.

Frequent check-ins make feedback a normal, welcomed part of your team’s culture.

Set the tone by making feedback a habit—acknowledging what’s working and addressing issues before they grow.

The more these conversations happen day-to-day, the easier they become.

3. Keep It Private and Professional

Performance feedback should always be a one-on-one conversation.

Handled privately, it builds trust and encourages open dialogue—while public discussions can undermine morale.

4. Use Clear and Supportive Language

The way you deliver feedback makes all the difference.

Keep it direct, constructive and solution-focused—so it encourages improvement rather than defensiveness.

Here are some scripts to guide you through tricky conversations:

Scenario #1: A team member's negative attitude is affecting team morale.

"David, I've noticed your recent comments during meetings have been quite negative. This is impacting the team's morale. Can we discuss what's behind this and how we can foster a more positive environment?"

Why this works: It highlights specific behaviours and their impact and invites a constructive conversation.

Scenario #2: A capable team member isn't taking initiative on projects.

"Laura, your work is solid, but I've noticed you wait for instructions rather than taking the lead. I trust your judgment and would love to see you proactively tackle opportunities. How do you feel about this?"

Why this works: It acknowledges their competence, expresses trust and encourages them to step up.

Scenario #3: A high performer needs a reality check.

"Chris, your results are impressive, and I appreciate your drive. However, I've noticed your approach can sometimes come across as abrasive to the team. Let's discuss how you can maintain your high standards while fostering a more collaborative atmosphere."

Why this works: It acknowledges their achievements while addressing how their approach affects the team.

Scenario #4: Tension between team members is affecting collaboration.

"Alex, I've observed some friction between you and Emily during meetings. Effective collaboration is crucial for our team's success. Let's discuss what’s going on and how we can improve things."

Why this works: It directly addresses the issue without assigning blame and focuses on a constructive solution.

5. Three Steps to Escalating a Performance Conversation

When someone’s performance isn’t where it should be, you need a structured approach to address it.

Here’s how.

Step 1: First Check-In

"Sarah, is everything okay? You don’t seem to be on your usual top form, and I’ve noticed it’s affecting your performance. I wanted to check in and see if there’s anything I can support you with."

Why this works: It shows concern and opens the door for them to share any personal or professional challenges affecting their work.

Step 2: If the Issue Persists

"Sarah, we spoke a few weeks ago about your performance. I need to be honest—there hasn’t been much improvement, and your recent work is still not where it needs to be. What’s going on from your perspective? Let’s figure out how to turn this around."

Why this works: It reinforces the previous discussion, clearly states expectations and puts the responsibility on them to improve.

Step 3: If There’s Still No Improvement

"Sarah, we’ve had several conversations about your performance not being where it needs to be. I’m concerned that there hasn’t been any real change. We need to talk about what’s holding you back and how you plan to turn this around."

Why this works: It signals that the situation is serious and requires action while still leaving space for the employee to engage in problem-solving.

6. Set Clear Expectations and Follow Up

Every conversation should end with clarity on the next steps.

If action is needed, agree on a plan together and set a follow-up date to check progress.

Accountability makes the difference between a helpful conversation and real change.

Closing Thoughts

Honest conversations are an essential skill for any leader.

When done with empathy, clarity and consistency, they can drive team growth, improve productivity and strengthen relationships.

Treat these conversations as opportunities for growth, and you’ll be the leader people respect and follow.