🚀 Why Even the Smartest Women Struggle With Self-Doubt (And What to Do About It)

DEEP DIVE

Why Even the Smartest Women Struggle With Self-Doubt (And What to Do About It)

The Confidence Paradox

Self-doubt has a way of showing up at the worst moments—right before a tough conversation, a crucial decision, or a make-or-break moment.

It makes you second-guess yourself, downplay your skills and hesitate when you should be stepping up.

It’s frustrating, but not a sign that you’re not good enough.

It’s a pattern—one that successful women deal with all the time.

The key isn’t to get rid of self-doubt (because it never fully disappears). It’s to stop letting it make decisions for you.

Here’s how.

Why Smart, Capable Women Struggle with Self-Doubt

Self-doubt isn’t about competence.

If it were, the most skilled people would be the most confident (and we know that’s not always the case). So where does it come from?

You’ve been conditioned to downplay success.

Many women are taught from a young age to be humble, to avoid seeming “too ambitious.”

Over time, this conditioning makes us question whether we should take up space.

Women are often praised for being "nice" or "collaborative" rather than "assertive" or "decisive," reinforcing the idea that confidence is somehow less desirable.

Your brain is wired to focus on threats. 

Our minds naturally fixate on what could go wrong, which is why doubt often overpowers confidence.

Studies show that women tend to underestimate their abilities more than men, even when their actual performance is identical.

You lack visible role models. 

When you don’t see women in top leadership roles, it’s easy to wonder if you belong there.

A KPMG study found that 75% of executive women have experienced imposter syndrome at some point in their careers—proof that this isn’t just a personal struggle; it’s a systemic one.

Recognising these patterns is the first step.

But awareness alone won’t change the way you show up.

Here’s what will.

The 3-Step Fix for Self-Doubt

1. Name It & Neutralise It

Most of us take self-doubt as a signal to stop. But doubt doesn’t mean don’t do it—it means you’re growing.

• Label it: When doubt creeps in, pause and recognise it - “Oh, this is just self-doubt talking.”

• Challenge the thought: Would you say this to a friend? If not, don’t say it to yourself.

• Reframe it: Your body reacts the same way to nerves and excitement. Instead of “I’m so nervous,” try “I’m excited for this challenge.”

2. Build an Evidence Bank

Your brain is wired to remember failures.

Confidence comes from actively collecting proof of your success.

• Keep a running list of wins—big and small. A kind email from a client or your CEO? A project you nailed? Write it down.

• Read it whenever doubt creeps in. Seeing proof in front of you makes it harder to believe the lie that you’re not good enough.

• Stop waiting for “external validation.” Your success is real, even if no one else claps for it.

• Use a confidence folder. Many high-achieving women I coach find it game-changing to keep a "confidence folder"—a collection of achievements, praise and proof of their impact—to revisit whenever self-doubt or imposter syndrome kicks in.

3. Take Action Before You Feel Ready

Confidence isn’t what gets you started—it’s what happens when you take action.

• Instead of overthinking, ask: What’s the smallest step I can take?

• Say yes to the opportunity, even if you don’t feel 100% “ready.”

• The more you take action despite self-doubt, the quieter it gets.

• Train your brain: Small, consistent actions—speaking up, setting boundaries, taking the lead—rewire it for confidence. The more you step up, the more natural confidence becomes.

The Bottom Line

Doubt isn’t a sign that you’re failing—it’s a sign that you’re stepping up.

The key isn’t to eliminate doubt but to move forward despite it.

So, the next time that voice in your head tells you you’re not good enough? Acknowledge it—and take the next step anyway.